I once found myself saying to God that Christianity is such a tough road not because He makes it difficult to enter but because of your fellow believers. I found a lot of ironic things in the Church, in Christianity where what was being said do not match with the actions.
I know I am not alone in this struggle for a lot of potential believers all over the world had been damaged or sabotaged by their fellows in the Kingdom. Some have even already left the community and faith which is a heartbreaking reality.
With this mentality and perspective that has lingered within me for too long, this pandemic has somehow become a blessing to me in a sense I have more time alone to spend with God. And I know that He has better perspectives than what I was truly seeing; and I knew I was missing something deep in my heart.
I am grateful that God always answers the deepest questions of our heart and that the Holy Spirit never fails to reveal the Word of God that causes us to repent and become better at loving. After all we are created by Love, to love and be loved.
Christianity vs the Worldly
I once used to compare how my social life was better when I was a non-spiritual person than when I started joining the Christian community. I had met people who were more truthful, confrontational, and real despite their lack of knowledge for God’s Word or Scriptures compared to those who otherwise know Jesus, go to church every Sunday, memorized the Scriptures yet betray and gossip one another, were jealous and intentionally selfish. The only One that has kept me staying long in this difficult path is the LORD because I know that this is the reality of His Bride and Jesus is married to such kinds of people.
I was at the kitchen when God spoke to me.
I was washing dishes and thinking in deep concern for my brothers and sisters in Christ who were struggling in their church. It then made me think once again about how “worldly” people are sometimes better than the “Christians.” Nonetheless, nothing is really making sense.
And out of the blue, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what Jesus said in Luke chapter 5 verse 32, “I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” From that point on, an explosive revelation came deep into my spirit that really hit my heart and made me repent.
Continuing to reveal more about this Scripture, the LORD said to me, “Now you know why you are seeing the worst kinds of people in the Kingdom. I came for the worst sinners and saved them. These people are in My Kingdom. Most people in the world who are already doing good on their own do not seek Me to save them. I came for those who gravely needed Me in their life.” And I realized that I too was one of the worst people out there that Jesus saved by His unlimited grace.
It now makes sense why the worst people are found in Christian community. It makes sense why once a murderer and persecutor of faith like Paul, a friend who denied Jesus like Peter, the doubtful like Thomas, an insecure and jealous king like Saul, the adulterous like the Samaritan woman, the insensitive and aggressive like James and John, a womanizer like Samson and so on were all part of God’s plan of redemption.
Expectations change
I realized that what I was missing was my expectations. I have imagined a perfect image of Christianity which obviously became an expectation to me that people are going to be at their best and loving state and full of Jesus when the reality is that the road everyone had gone through before Jesus saved them were not as easy.
And it is definitely better for the LORD to save them and call them into His family than let them wander in the world and die in their sins. Everything about the Kingdom is by the grace of God. We are all called, joined as one family of God, the worse of the worst people out there. What can we expect from each other?
Called to greater love, patience and understanding
Now with a change of mind and heart, I know that loving the worse has become easier. Regardless of their positions, the attitudes and hurts being passed on, it is easier to understand and be patient with each other knowing that we are all called because we’re the worst ones who gravely need of Jesus Christ.
I now understand why the Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy chapter 1 verse 5, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.”
I hope that those of you who may be battling the same thing be enlightened by the Holy Spirit. May our love grow deeper as we hold on tighter to the LORD especially these difficult times where love is growing cold. Let’s continuously seek guidance and wisdom from the Holy Spirit who never fails to address all our needs.
Shalom!