English is … tricky
English is a difficult language when we get into some of its intricacies. For example, English has a bunch of homophones, words that sound the same but are different. For example, think about the difference between saying beer, bear, or bare. Then there are homographs, words that are spelled the same but are different. For example, think about the different meanings we give to park, or bat, or minute.
See what I mean? Tricky.
And then we talk about a pair of things, which really means one thing. For example, we talk about a pair of socks, but really we mean two socks for a singular purpose. One pair. Ahhh.
Socks go missing
The problem with the sock example is that if you’re anything like me, a pair of socks are quickly separated. It almost seems inevitable that when I put a pair of socks in the wash, only one of the pair returns to me. Every. Single. Time. I’m not sure what happens to the other sock, it seems to be one of the mysteries of the modern world where single socks disappear to.
An analogy for life
I find it very frustrating when one of my pair of socks becomes a single sock, because as much as I try to work out how to avoid it, this repetitive event just happens time and time again.
It’s frustrating.
Over the past few years during the global pandemic, there have been so many situations that have ended up like the sock separation. Things have just happened that I’ve tried to control but no matter what I’ve done, they haven’t worked out as I wanted them to.
Feeling out of control and unable to manage some of the ordinary things of life has almost become my new normal.
Control freaks
Life in the West changed significantly after the period known as the Enlightenment, the intellectual and philosophical movement that dominated Europe in the 17th and 18th centuries with global influences and effects. Since then, our lives have become a lot more centred around being in control, in control of our own destiny, in control of our relationships, our jobs, and generally in control of anything and everything we can.
In our time of history, losing control and being out of control is religiously frowned upon. Even losing a sock can set off a train of anxiety.
Letting go is gaining control
One of the things the last few years has taught us, again, is that some things are beyond our control, and that letting go is perhaps a far stronger action than trying to hang on to what we think life should be like.
I love what American professor of literature Joseph Campbell once wrote: We must let go of the life that we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
There is so much to embrace in that idea.
God is in control
Of course, Christian faith has a lot to say about control, or more precisely not being in control, or letting go of control. The Biblical narrative is one where over the course of thousands of years the people of God had to continually learn that ultimately God is in control and that trust in him has much better outcomes than trust in themselves.
One of most well-known passages of Scripture that helps us begin the journey of relinquishing control is found in the Wisdom Literature, Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5-6, which say, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
The rest of this chapter expounds on this foundation in profound ways.
Jesus takes up this concept in his teaching. Matthew records Jesus saying in chapter 6, verses 25-27, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Let go
I know that letting go of control is difficult. Very difficult. It’s a spiritual practice I’m still learning, no more so than this year with all its challenges, both professionally and personally.
Applying the discipline of handing over to God our cares and anxieties and trusting him with our future is counter-cultural, it goes against everything we’re taught through our education systems and our media, but this is what makes God’s ways so powerful – they don’t make sense, and yet they completely do.
Let the sock go
Maybe we can start giving up control by simply accepting that sometimes our socks won’t return to us as a pair. It just happens, and there’s nothing we can do to change it. Buy new socks and just get on with life. Let the missing sock go.
Letting go of the small things enables us to progressively let go of the bigger things.
As my Mum would say to me, ‘Look dear, I dare you to focus on the deer, they daren’t have too much control, they just trust God to the dearest forest around them.’
I dare you to do the same.