Lost, Found, Equipped
“Do I have a personal story to tell?” I asked myself when I was told to write one. If I strip away all the labels, experiences and hobbies, what will be left as my unique story?
As the Creator is the writer of my story, I would like to share the personal and commonplace one that God gives to every Christian, including me.
I had started to ponder on the meaning of life since I was in middle school. I tried various things to figure out the answer when I grew older. For instance: reading classic books, traveling to different places, seeking religion and embarking on new relationships. Some of the attempts provided temporary comforts from time to time, but none of them offered the ultimate solution. The urge of finding the true satisfaction has always been there.
At the same time, I was told to lead a life like most of the people around me. Eat, drink, prepare to get married and have kids when the opportune time comes. It seemed that life was all about that and it’s unsettling to think too much beyond that. I led a life without knowing the true purpose of it, whilst fighting against the “universal” way of living.
I was struggling with this dilemma for quite a long time; in not knowing how to deal with myself, the world and people around me correctly. I recognized that there was something missing inside, but I had no clue what was it and where was the gateway out.
Found by grace
I lived my life like this until I saw the light in the gospel.
Even though I was lost inside, there was still some ridiculous pride in me. I considered that the knowledge accumulated in the past was quite something. I kept doubting it when people exchanged their ideas of a meaningful life. I enjoyed catching their errors and refuted their opinions with what I thought was true.
It’s by God’s Grace that I eventually humbled myself to hear the gospel. Robert, a devout Christian and the vice president of my former company, was the one who shared the gospel with me patiently for about a year. He responded my doubts and questions with wise words and politeness. Despite his high social status, he confessed his past sin openly and shared with me how he had sincerely found the meaning of life in the gospel.
Robert made God so real and glorious. The more we talked, the more I wanted to know about God. With his encouragement, I began to read the Bible diligently, go to church, and finally get baptized one year after our first chat. Since then, I have understood that my existence was not about myself, but to be used by God and glorify Him.
Becoming equipped for good work
The gospel has also changed my view of getting along with others. Previously, I preferred to act alone for almost everything I did. I deliberately kept a distance with people around me, even with family and good friends. I was accustomed to work, travel and handle my hardships alone.
However, the fellowship in Christ opened my heart to others and enabled me to go into other people’s life. I started to care for others’ lives, pray for their needs and offered practical help.
I gradually jumped out of my comfort zone and served others when there was a need, such as picking up the elder sister in church with a taxi on Sunday morning, helping with sister’s wedding, and learning to be a Sunday school teacher. To participate in brother’s and sister’s lives allowed me to serve as Jesus did. Meanwhile, I was also rewarded with sincere trust and genuine friendship, which is far more valuable than being a loner. God’s love and grace had not only saved me, but also enabled me to serve others.
Like many other believers, my story is about a wicked sinner who once was lost, now is justified by grace, and is equipping herself for doing good works that the Lord commands. Hopefully, when the race is finished, the Lord will regard me as a good and faithful servant.
Cindy Cheng was born and brought up in central China. Cindy enjoys travelling and reading history books. Cindy is inspired by talking with local people when travelling abroad experiencing different parts of the world, as well as herself.
Cindy’s previous articles may be found at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cindy-cheng.html