O Lord, You have made me new, yet how is my heart still as black as coal?
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew chapter 12, verse 34b), thus my words are cries of a crow.
O Lord, You have brought me to your Love, yet how is my heart still elsewhere?
For where the treasure is, there the heart is also (Matthew chapter 6, verse 21) and my heart is stolen again to the glittering lies of the world.
O Lord, You have promised me Your Kingdom, yet how am I still building sandcastles?
When the rain and the floods come with the winds that blow and beats (Matthew chapter 7, verse 26), I watch mine fall, only to crawl in the dirt again to build another.
O Lord, You have shown me the way to Life, yet how am I creeping towards the pit?
Your Word is a lamp for the feet, a light on the path (Psalm chapter 119, verse 105), thus without it, I wander and do not see the mud entangling my feet.
Wretched one that I am!
So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. Who will deliver me from this body of death? (Romans chapter 7, verse 24-25)
Put your hope in God
Why are you cast down, oh my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, my Salvation and my Rock. (Psalm chapter 42, verse 5-6a)
He delivered me from such a deadly peril before. On Him I have set my hope and He will deliver me again. (2 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 10)
You do not have because you do not ask
I open my mouth and cry out: Tell me Lord, Creator and Miracle-worker, all of your works and steadfast promises. Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderous things out of Your law (Psalms chapter 119, verse 18).
Say to my soul, “I am your salvation!” (Psalms chapter 35, verse 3b)
Lead me to seek for You, as then You will answer me and deliver me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalms chapter 34, verse 4-5)
Those who pursue God has no lack. The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalms chapter 34, verse 9-10)
Pray with the Scriptures, as Christ did.
Preach to yourself, as David did.
Sunny is as a weak as a broken reed, a flickering candle. But Abba God shows His abundant mercy again and again by incredibly loving this hopeless being. Soli deo Gloria.