Sometimes I think I’ve got it all under control. I’m running towards the finishing line, strong and steady, and then a massive boulder rolls past and shoves me down a back alleyway.
The future is a strange thing to ponder on. It is almost like trying to work out how big the universe is. Mind-blowing!
I like to have little freak outs now and then about my future. For example, just the other week I asked myself where I will be in five years’ time? What a good idea that was!
Obviously, I had absolutely no clue. I cannot predict the future, as much as I would love to, let alone plan it so precisely that I have a step-by-step guide in front of me for the rest of my life.
Though sometimes I find it slightly frustrating that this is not a possibility, I also see the importance of not knowing anything about my future. It is really quite exciting and so unpredictable.
Five years ago, when I asked myself the same question, I would never have thought I would be doing what I am doing right now.
The way my life has changed, how my goals and dreams have altered depending on what I get drawn to next, and how exciting it is to think about the fact that I don’t know what my life in five years is going to look like, this is all so exciting.
I often reflect on my own life, my choices, my direction, my path, and what drives me every day. I suddenly realised my passions were plenty, that was for sure, but my goals were scattered. What was driving my every day, or as my dad would often put it ‘What gets you out of bed in the morning?’.
When someone asked me last year when I finished my degree what my plan was for the next year, I had no idea how to respond – I hadn’t actually thought about it. This greatly stunned me as I consider myself an extremely organised person who obtains at least five to-do-lists daily.
After pondering on this thought for a few days, I realised my life is based on temporary goals that add up to bigger goals along the way. For example, I was passionate about film, so I went straight to University after high school.
After three years, I finally graduated, but then God placed another goal in my lap in the form of an invitation to do the Honours program to advance my knowledge in the things I am passionate about.
God knew that I wasn’t sure of my oncoming year, so he opened up a door for me to step through. All throughout this year I have had my eyes opened to new things I love and am passionate about. Things I would have never considered in the past.
Change is something I have never been great at dealing with. Thinking about it, I get excited, but when I have to face it in reality the big changes in life, such as graduating high school, moving to a new house, and just getting older, these things can be really quite daunting.
When I was growing up, my mum used to compare me to Peter Pan because I never wanted to grow up. Although we laugh at that now, I move my life in small, cautious steps because I want to be careful when making big decisions and not rush into them. The ‘dip your toe in the water’ kind of thing.
Just last week I made a huge decision that I could not believe I made – I cut my tailbone length long hair up to my shoulder blades. See this for me was a big change as I never, ever wanted to cut my hair. But after doing it, I felt fresher and lighter in a way.
I greatly admire Ruth in the Bible. She confronted change so gracefully, it puts me to shame. She inspires me so much to be a better person when confronted with change, as well as the unknown future. She was a woman of great faith.
It is undeniable that the future is fast coming, but just like Ruth, she stared it in the face and believed that God would provide for her every need. Because of this, she was blessed abundantly with a new God-given life and she was filled with confidence because she knew who held her future and life.
As Christians, we are told to live my faith, not by sight (II Corinthians chapter five verse seven). In Hebrews chapter 11 verse one it says, ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’
Putting your trust in others is hard, putting your whole future into God’s hands can be even harder sometimes, but I have to let go of my grip and let God take care of the rest because he ultimately knows best.
Let it all go
Beginning the year with a shaky, undetermined start and ending up excelling in my honours course and having opportunities open up before my eyes, I know God is constantly guiding me. He knows better than I do what I need to be doing with my life.
Sometimes God gives me a bit of a push into the direction he wants me to go in. It always ends up being quite the journey, but a very rewarding one.
Life is undetermined. It is unsettling at times. The future is a scary thing, but every day that we wake up and experience new things the world has to offer, God has already seen that day through.
I am encouraged and feel so blessed when I get through tough times and come out the other end smiling and thanking God for the crazy journey he took me through.
Just like Ruth, the unplanned, undetermined and unsettling times can scare us and worry us, but it isn’t until we give it all to God and let him guide our steps that we start to see a fulfilling future opening up before our eyes.
Just remember, Peter Jackson would have never been able to create three successful films if Bilbo Baggins hadn’t have said yes to the daring, unknown adventure ahead of him. In fact, there would be no story to begin with.
Always take the first step and trust that God guides each of them as you journey on to bigger and better things that God has already seen and planned ahead of you.
Matthew chapter six verses 25-27, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
Cartia Moore is a sword fighter, trained and skilled in the art of fencing. She has recently graduated from her Bachelor of Arts degree and is now studying an Honours in Screen & Media Studies. She is also a youth leader and has a passion for bringing young girls to God and helping them to seek and find their worth and value in Him.
Cartia Moore’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cartia-moore.html