Singleness is not always upheld as great. In fact, it is often perceived as inferior. At least that’s the sense from those in a relationship or married, as they carelessly comment, “don’t worry, you will find someone soon”.
As many enter adulthood and their 30s, it becomes an increasingly sensitive topic.
“Why are you still single? You’re running out of time to have children if that’s what you want.”
Why is singleness looked down on?
The truth is, there is more to life than marriage. Marriage is not the purpose of our lives, nor is it the end goal. It is not the tick box we must achieve to be considered successful.
Nor should our identity be slapped on with the label “single”.
We make choices every day – being single is one of them.
There is so much unseen hurt and brokenness in this world: the trauma of childhood and past relationships, or the quiet observation of other people’s relationships that lead us to make this choice: To remain single.
A plea for sensitivity
“What is wrong with you that you are not in a relationship with someone? Have you even been looking or trying?”
Therefore, it is ignorant to even have these questions in your mind for a single person. I know people may never ask these questions in person, but I imagine it have crossed the minds of many before.
Marriage isn’t something people turn away from; it is a decision made with intention and with deep or even painful consideration. This decision ought to be respected by others.
Because how do you even know marriage isn’t something we once longed-for?
So, I sincerely ask you to empower us in our singleness.
The benefits of singleness
Paul addresses this topic in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He writes it is good for the unmarried and widows to stay unmarried, just like he is. Furthermore, he states that it is not a sin to marry. It is equally not a sin to not marry, nor should we be treated with a lesser value.
As people without responsibilities towards a partner or children, Paul goes on to say that an unmarried person can give undivided attention to God and solely focus on pleasing God and furthering His kingdom.
We are unrestrained by time to minister in the late and early hours of the morning. Our space is also free for hospitality.
Lonely but not alone
You may see us moving by ourselves. And at times, yes, we do feel lonely. It is hard when we see couples in conflict. We wonder if they truly understand the gift of being with someone you love.
But the truth is we know God as someone in our life who will never leave us. Because in the darkest and most challenging moments, when no one else was there or could be there for us, God was and still is.
He understands loneliness like no one else.
Let us be seen and empowered.
For those of us who are single, let us become the generation who are not ashamed to be single. May we cultivate these years with unprecedented growth as we live with confidence.
Let us enjoy this season and serve God with our precious undivided time and energy. Like apostle Paul, may we be role models for the younger generation to thrive in the years of singleness.
Let us demonstrate to people around us that there is power in singleness, and we are not worth less or less capable than those in relationships.
Stephanie enjoys simple living, admiring nature’s beauty and intricacy, and playing the piano. She is particularly passionate about empowering the vulnerable. Writing is her way of processing thoughts and feelings to understand herself, God and the world in a deeper and more meaningful way.