Last Sunday afternoon, I was told that someone in church donated $150 to me. I was astonished at the very beginning and didn’t believe that the money was for me. After further confirmation with the church, I was assured that the donation was for me and I ought to accept it according to church tradition.
Overjoyed with the blessing
I took the money with thanks and spent a whole afternoon in absorbing what just happened. On the one hand, I understand that God works for the good of those who love him. The donation must come from the love of another caring church member, which is the manifestation of God’s blessing and grace.
On the other hand, knowing that God is gracious is one thing, but when someone displays it through real action is another thing. I have been with the church for only five months so far. I assume that deeper trust and understanding are required if someone wants to donate money to me. I was stunned not only by the fact, but the actual reality that just happened to me.
You don’t know how much God loves you until you taste it! All in all, I felt so blessed and amazed by God’s work. Not only that He loves me, but also that He shows it through another sibling in the church. More importantly, I know that God works among us and does take care of our needs.
Dealing with the very amount of money
Now is the time to cope with the very currency of 150 dollars! To be honest, except for surprise and amazement, there was a slight voice inside cheering for the money. I was happy that my money came back. By “my money” I mean the same amount that I have donated to others early July.
The voice is quite faint in the beginning. Intellectually, I know that I mustn’t use this money for any personal purposes. It should be contributed to the kingdom of God.
Gradually, the voice took its upper hand. I started to persuade myself in spending the money as I like. The church said that the money was at my disposal. Probably I could use it in my own way and it’s not necessary for the kingdom of God, or maybe donate half of it and keep another half.
I struggled with these two different ideas until I found peace in prayer.
Instrument for noble purposes
After the prayer, I realized that it is God’s love that I should value more instead of money itself. How foolish I was in wanting the money rather than God’s unrivalled grace! It was just like Esau who exchanged his birthright with a bowl of red stew. With this awakening, I decided to tithe the money back and let it go back to the “blessing cycle.”
The “my money” concept was fairly naive as all I have, including myself, is from God and should be deployed for the purpose of God. I, as a Christian, should be the conduit of our possessions and utilize it to display God’s love, exactly as the sibling has done to me. My thought of wanting to keep the money will not only spoil the great blessing from God, but also prove myself as an unqualified vessel of God.
As Paul has put in 2 Timothy, versus 21: If a man cleanses himself from the latter(ignoble purposes), he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
As a sinner, I often hold the illusion of considering all the good things that given by God as my own. I tend to reserve what I have for myself and put the needs of God’s kingdom in the second place. However, if I commit to do so more often, I’m turning myself around, as articles that serve for ignoble purposes and throwing away the great treasure that God grants me: to be made holy and serve as an instrument for higher purposes.
Thank God who helps me made the right decision in the end! May He guide me to present all I have to his kingdom in my future life.
Cheng Xingyi's previous articles may be found at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cindy-cheng.html
Cindy Cheng was born and brought up in central China. Cindy enjoys travelling and reading history books. Cindy is inspired by talking with local people when travelling abroad experiencing different parts of the world, as well as herself.
Cindy’s previous articles may be found at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/cindy-cheng.html