It is possible to be wholehearted in this life when you were born broken, brave when circumstances have taken away valuable things that make life feel secure, and a wise social/economic consumer when it was not in the cards to do so.
Realistically, in this life people will break your heart and bad things will happen.
I don’t believe that the strength to survive is a “stuff it down and keep working strength”. It’s not about fighting back, being cruel, or manipulative. It’s definitely not a strength based in numbing and comfort. It’s about you choosing to believe you matter and have the capacity inside you to make your world a better place.
Being whole hearted is the act of putting your inner world back together when you come across its breaks. If you don’t, you’ll reject some of the love that’s out there.
No one can renovate a heart alone, and no one will do it for you.
Choose the right people to help you out of whatever you’re stuck in. Don’t pick people who will agree with you, instead choose people who are noticeably different, healthy, and whole.
Renovating the heart is a journey and so just assume that you never get off that step and that everyone else is on it with you.
Anxiety and fear is not the way to do life or make decisions. If that is where you are, it’s ok to take the help you need for this moment.
It is possible to walk out of those feelings.
Anxiety comes when I commit towards doing too many things that are not what I want to do, nor who I am. It comes when I don’t process pain. It comes when I haven’t had the hard conversations I need to have.
Emotions like fear and anxiety are just a health check. What you do with them either helps or hurts you. Stuffing and exploding in anger and powerlessness are both the wrong way of handling what you feel. What if emotion is a wave that passes so you can know your heart better?
Know your spirit and identity
For you to grow healthy you must know your spirit. Learn your identity and how you hear God. The Enneagram and Gallup's Strengthsfinders Test are actually helpful tools. Then learn how to use your gifts.
Grow boundaries. What you love and how you give, to whom, and when is part of the intrinsic value you give away.
Finally, in living wholehearted, live with vision for leaving a legacy in mind. Take the extra time in conversations and teachable moments. Show up for people on birthdays and the days they are sad. Be present in relationships even if you think you’re not good at them. Have a community of people, but give your whole heart to only a few.
There are many things in this world that you can do with your life. What you do shouldn’t be about how much money you make, or in light of not having the money to do it. Money is just a tool; the rules and beliefs we assign to it are what shape our character.
Hard work will follow you all your days, but it doesn’t have to break your back or drain your spirit. Don’t let culture define for you what success is or being an adult is.
Life is in the heart.
Relationally, you may connect over a reason or a season of life. For some of us there is no such thing as a lifelong best friend and that’s ok. Sooner or later we grow up, change, and move on. Love lets you be yourself and gives you the freedom to choose for yourself. The minute you can’t do these things is when you need to check your boundaries. Fear of hurting people and guilt will try to steal your voice and hide your true self.
Be you, and be kind to yourself
Do these things and you will be different…but you will be you.
I may be only one person in the world of many and one life in time. If all I do is love, honour, and respect people, love myself the same way, pray, and steward money well then I’ve lived a life that matters.
In my friendships, my legacy will be seeds of belief and encouragement in their dreams and in their identity.
In the way I create, my legacy will be a way of making others around me more creative.
In my voice, my legacy will be words of power and kindness.
In my prayer, my legacy will be the privilege of holding another's burden before God and watching Him change things.
In the way I love, my legacy will be more people who believe in their intrinsic value.
In the way I connect, my legacy will be the capacity to show that conflict doesn’t have to divide us.
In my forgiveness, my legacy will be a break in the lineage of codependency.
In my children, my legacy will be an epigenetic framework that is much lighter.
What is your legacy made up of and what do you want it to be?
Kali Hendrickson is a Press Services International Columnist from the USA.
Kalli Hendrickson is a Press Service International young writer from Brisbane and now in the USA.
Kalli was born in the beautiful State of Montana, USA. She works doing freelance Graphic Design, and is a teacher studying to gain school counseling licensure.