We need each other. We are not designed to do life on our own. In connection with others we find purpose, joy, comfort, encouragement, strength, partnership to achieve great things, refinement of character and most importantly, love.
Love brings God’s kingdom to earth to flood the darkness with light. The world whether it knows it or not, is crying out for a love that is found firstly in our heart’s connection with God, and then with one another.
The enemy of our souls knows the power of connection and the threat it poses to his kingdom of darkness, so his plan is to drive a wedge between our hearts and other’s.
I believe one of the biggest wars raging in the spirit realm of our generation is a war against connection. If we are going to fight for our connections and remain steadfast in God, in whom we have the victory, we need to recognise the reality of this war and its different forms.
Here are some of the ways I have seen the war on connection manifest in my own life and some thoughts on how we overcome.
Real life vs false reality
One of the most socially acceptable addictions in our world today is our social media addiction. What started out claiming to be a tool to bring the world closer together is now becoming easily recognisable as something which is harmful to our health and state of mind, breeding more loneliness and social disconnect than ever.
Social media accounts and personas show a two-dimensional version of our reality. A ‘virtual’ reality which inevitably becomes distorted – edited to become a picture of how we want others to perceive us.
A requirement of true relational connection is allowing ourselves to be seen for who we are. No pretence, no charades, no editing. The more we become engrossed in a virtual reality, the more we will lose who we are, and the more we will move away from real connection to others.
Social media is not inherently bad, but it does pose a real threat to real connections with real people. So make sure it’s not taking control of your life. Ask yourself what your motivation is before posting content. Put more effort into connecting with people in real life than you are in creating the perfect, most ‘likeable’ social media presence. Be authentically you. Keep Jesus on the throne of your life – he is the only audience who truly matters.
When our worth comes from him, our eyes are opened to the unique and beautiful way he has created us and we won’t feel the need to create a false reality. We will confidently bring all of ourselves to relationships, letting ourselves be fully seen and known, and we will celebrate and draw out the beauty in those around us.
God’s thoughts vs toxic thoughts
Recently I have been battling some fairly intense anxiety, most of which comes from fearing what other people think of me. In a matter of minutes, one thought leads to a rapid downward spiral of anxious, fearful and self-deprecating thoughts to the point where I am fighting tears, physically unwell, feeling incredibly low emotionally, and withdrawing from people around me.
Perhaps the greatest battle against connection happens in our mind. If we do not fight by using God’s words to and about us as a sword against the lies, we are quickly overcome by a dark head space full of negative self-talk, which ultimately crushes our spirit and causes us to withdraw into ourselves.
When the battle is raging in our thought life, our emotions feel out of control and everything in us is screaming to hide away and withdraw, we have to ask for help. Be vulnerable, be brave, and share your thoughts with someone you know will speak life back into you and remind you of who you are. When all we want to do is disconnect, the most important thing to do is reach out and connect.
God’s thoughts about us are good (we are his kids!), so we need to tune into them constantly, reject the lies and continue to let ourselves be known by the people around us. Often when it feels the hardest and the most uncomfortable to connect is when we most need to be intentional about connecting with people.
Truth: You are an incredible creation, you were not meant to be hidden from sight, your heart is a masterpiece that needs to be seen, and you are made for life-giving connection with people.
Being present vs being busy
In our western culture there is constant pressure to be busy and ‘productive’. We have conversations where the subtle game being played is, Whoever Had the Busiest Week is the Winner! We wear busyness proudly like Olympic medals, yet in most cases, all it is doing is draining us and taking the life from our relationships.
I’ve had the privilege of spending time in countries where the culture is far more relationship orientated than task orientated. Time, and plenty of it, is given to connecting with each other. When I was working with an organisation in Uganda, at least the first half hour of every morning was dedicated to greeting one another. Often things took a frustratingly long time to happen, but relationship was always central to everything. I loved it.
There are seasons of life that are just plain busy, and that is okay. But a whole lifestyle of being busy is unhealthy and unproductive in the things that really matter. If we are going to be busy with anything, we should be busy in building our connections with the people God has placed in our lives.
Don’t let a busy life steal from your connections. Choose to be present with the people in front of you, rather than always being on a timeline, conscious of all the other things fighting for your attention. Give the gift of your time to people, and let your connections grow and thrive.
All God wants is for us to be present with him. He just wants to spend time with his kids! As we learn to switch off from busy and be at rest in him, he will always guide us back to connection with himself and with others, the place where his life-changing, life-giving love is found.
Bonnie loves all things old-fashioned, exploring new places, coffee with friends and being with her family. She is passionate about broken hearts and relationships being restored through the power of vulnerability and honesty with God and others. She is the founder and director of Jolly Good Events, a social enterprise reviving the days of town hall dances to bring the local community together and raise funds for poverty alleviation projects. Bonnie has a Bachelor of Humanitarian and Community Studies and a Master of International Public Health.
Bonnie Dowie’s previous articles may be viewed at
Bonnie loves travelling to experience and understand new cultures, beautiful things (especially flowers), coffee with friends and being with her family. She deeply values authenticity and is passionate about building meaningful community where people feel a sense of belonging and genuine love. Bonnie Dowie’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/bonnie-dowie.html