It was Mothers’ Day of 2017, and while that day is usually a happy day for most, there are a few that find this day extremely painful. On a routine visit to the supermarket, all the polite men seemed to find joy in wishing me a ‘Happy Mothers’ Day!’ At first, I tried to explain that I was not yet a mother, but by the third wish, I just caved and told them ‘Thank you’. Although I still have my mother, and I ensured she had her needs taken care of for the festivities, I was also cognisant of my friends and others who did not.
What was really getting to me though was a common struggle many single women have and that was reflecting on all that you don’t have when these holidays do come around. Back then at the age of 34, being an unmarried Christian girl often feels like a lonely path. Yes, there are many of us, and that too in itself reflects another set of realities.
What I found myself doing was wondering when those wishes would actually apply to me. When would I get the chance to be married or be a mother? And, in true human nature style, one question led to another and before you knew it, I was stressed out about all the things I did not have at this time in my life. It was depressing!
Don’t go down that rabbit hole
I have no idea why I opened this can of worms. Sometimes, I even avoided going to events or places that reminded me of what society said I should have by this age but didn’t already. Sadly enough, sometimes that too happened to me at church. As a place where family and marriage were thoroughly celebrated, I however did not have either of my own just yet, thus, I often felt worse than better whenever I attended those ‘special events’. While I get the joy of celebrating marriage and family, the Church often forgets that this sometimes feels like it is all being rubbed into our faces. We can’t relate just yet, though we would like to have these things too. Especially if your friends have achieved one of the two, or even both already.
Guard your thoughts, not just your heart!
As thinking, that depressing feeling of ‘I don’t yet have…’ came over me. I must say after a long conversation with my mom about careers and salaries, the feeling got even worse. I finally thought to myself that thinking on my problems only make me feel worst. You will never have good energy about your life in any form when focusing an all these have-nots!
So, I decided that I needed to feel better and be grateful for what I already had. I didn’t desire to be depressed and most certainly God didn’t desire that for me either. I remembered that what you focused on determines your life:
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honour at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory. (Colossians Chapter 3, verses 1-4 NLT).
I thought about the fact that I was healthy and had a home, food, a career, friends, a family and most of all, My Mom on Mothers’ Day. There was more than enough to be grateful for and even if I couldn’t name as many things, God is still God and always deserves my best. It is also important to worship your way out of distress. I have found that in my lowest moments, once I started to focus on the God of all things, everything faded in comparison to him. As a worship leader, this has moved me many times.
Other verses that speak to focusing on God:
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech. Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get side-tracked; keep your feet from following evil. (Proverbs chapter 4, verses 23 – 27).
There are so many verses in the Bible that speak to focusing on God. I believe that there are this many because God is very aware of the nature of man, who gets side-tracked as mentioned in verse 27 above.
All trials in this Christian walk are teaching moments. With this approach, I have tried to ensure that I look for the lesson first and not be burdened by solely how I feel. It is a tough walk (that is really an understatement), but more than ever worth it (this too is an understatement). I trust that God always has the best for me and that keeps me knowing that I can trust this waiting process.
The key tools for keeping your focus are:
1. Reading your Bible as often as possible;
3. Fasting; and
My words for today are:
REFOCUS! and PERSPECTIVE!
and I encourage you to keep your eyes on the Father of Heaven, because only then can you overcome the woes of this temporal existence.
God’s eternal GRACE and Peace be with us Always…
Kimberley Morgan is an International Affairs/Diplomacy Practioner who loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ and is grateful for God’s saving grace that has transformed her life. She is a worship leader and remains passionate about touching hearts through writing/blogging as she thrives to become a published author of women’s Christian fiction.
Kimberley Salmon from Jamaica West Indies is a praise and worship leader who remains passionate about touching hearts through singing and writing as she thrives to become a published author of Christian women’s fiction. She loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ and is grateful for God’s saving grace which continues to transform her life. As a senior Press Service International Columnist, she is elated that she can now share her journey with God with the world.