What sounds like a cliché to many is a phrase used by those who have had some form of life epiphany, has now become a hallmark for my life. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.” This comes from a very popular Bible verse found in 1st Corinthians 13:11.
I am a diehard follower of Christ; as well as a husband, and aspiring author, currently residing in the United States of America.I spent the first 24 years of my life struggling to find my identity; but in an unforeseen turn of events, it was my identity that found me. I was born and raised in Kingston, Jamaica - a country characterised by a stereotypical male identity crisis syndrome, or MICS for short. MICS is a diagnosis I have given to this fast growing plague that has ravaged the men of my country. It is a fast growing mental condition in which men lack empathy, and scarcely show physical emotions. They developed fear of intimate brotherly bonds created by false masculinity, and the inability to love and be affectionate to members of the opposite sex.
Lack of empathy and emotions
Jamaica is known for its widespread homophobia, which is considered deep within the body of Christ. This pattern has led to men who are considered sensitive or emotional to be ridiculed and labelled as homosexuals. Scary, right? But it gets worse. This has also created a nation of men who fear expressing themselves. As a boy, I was taught that emotions were only restricted to groups of women, and that real men don't express their emotions. I would often hold my tears inside and keep my pain to myself, along with everyone around me. I was forced to always live inside my head, and to appear as masculine and as insensitive as possible. I was programmed to turn my feelings switch off, but I knew that was something that didn't add up to me.
The fear of losing one's own masculinity is a true phobia all men suffer from. Every man wants to be the strong, sometimes silent type and to be respected and feared. I lived in a culture where respect is dependent on how much people fear you. I would often times reject others' love towards me, due to fear and the consequences it would bring. The good guy is often the one that always finished last. The culture and the media promoted an image of a man that projected the male gender as cruel, harsh, and unforgiving.
I recall vividly a father scolding his child for crying after he fell and bruised his knee. “You better man up. You're not a girl.” He said with a straight face with no apparent regard for his son's bleeding knee. I was at a crossroads in my life where I knew that something was deeply wrong.
Inability to love and care for the opposite sex
The continuous disrespect and disregard for the feelings of women, especially in circles of men, is alarming. Not only were women being treated as objects to satisfy men's passion, but they were seen as lesser beings. The first 24 years of my life, I was brainwashed to believe that women were objects to be owned and the more you owned, the greater your credibility of being a man. Most musical entertainers have a significant influence on the culture, and most if not all, sing songs about women that put them below even the earthworms, in regards to inherent value. This has been accepted, replicated, and broadcast over the mainstream media. As a result, little boys would desire women for their personal sexual gains, as one would desire new clothing to wear, then discard in the near future.
I desired to be different. I desired to be the example. I desired to show men that there is something seriously wrong here.
Then I became a man
Then one day, my life changed. I realized that I was not a man, and neither were the people around me. I was a boy trapped in a man's body. My very own epiphany. When I found Christ, I knew I found the real deal. It was November 2016 when I decided that I no longer wished to accompany the boys of this world. I became a man. Jesus is the example all aspiring men should follow. Gentleness, kindness, meekness, sensitive, caring, forgiving, faithful and merciful. I dare every boy to be a man. To be like Jesus. Jesus is the only true and ultimate man in this world. You may finish last. You may lose respect. You may lose your whole world, but the world is not a place for men. It creates boys and keeps them that way, but Jesus showed all men the way they must follow. So I challenge us all to put away childish things, and stop living in a boy's shadow. The world needs Jesus, and that starts with us choosing to be set apart, and allowing God to show us what a being a real man looks like. Are you up to the challenge?
My name is Marko Dewar, I am 26 years old from Kingston, Jamaica that just recently moved to Chicago, IL where I reside with my wife, Dominique. I am an aspiring author, mentor, and life coach. I received Jesus in 2017 and I have made a commitment to live only for him. I became a young writer with Christian Today through recommendation from Darren Salmon.
My name is Marko Dewar. I am a 27yrs old from Kingston, Jamaica that just recently moved to Chicago, IL. I am an aspiring author, mentor, and life coach. I received Jesus in 2017 and I have made a commitment to live only for Him. I became a young writer with Christian Today through recommendation from Darren Salmon.