Have you ever felt stuck in the space between your dreams and the ability to walk them out? Or like the momentum you once had towards fulfilling your destiny has ground to a halt?
When the gifts we carry aren’t being activated, or we feel we are missing our purpose, it causes frustration and restlessness. This can either pull us into a depression or motivate us to discover how to release what’s inside our hearts to the world around us.
Over the years, periods of such frustration and restlessness have been like a prodding from God to move me out from my comfort zone and into new things. They have been times where I’ve earnestly asked God questions like, ‘What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go?’ and said, ‘Give me a nation and I’ll go! I’ll go wherever you send me.’
Stop asking what, start asking who
Recently, the lack of doors flinging open or a voice from Heaven telling me what to do and where to go, despite what I thought was my total surrender to God, have caused my searching heart to ask a new question.
‘Who am I meant to run with?’, my heart is asking. ‘Who are the people to connect with, to build relationship with, to do community with? Who are the ones who hold keys to my calling?’
I’m realising the questions I used to ask were all centred on me. Me as an individual. What I could do. What God could use me for. They’re questions which perhaps arose from my own cultural mindset – a culture which is very individualistic and applauds independence. And maybe I liked the idea of being some kind of hero.
But God thinks in terms of relationship and community. He thinks about unity with others. He wired us to need each other. We were born for connection. Why would pursuing the call God has for us suddenly become all about what we can do as an individual?
Your destiny lies in those around you
God intentionally never gave me all the keys to unlock the doors to my promised land of purpose. He put them in the hands of others, because his plan is always about moving us towards relationship.
We were never meant to be self-made, self-sufficient people, slugging it out on our own. We don’t have all we need for what he has called us to; God does, and much of it is to be found in the people we build relationship with.
Engaging in community kills our individualist mindsets and teaches us to lay our lives down for others, just as Jesus did. As we invest in relationships, our character is refined and strengthened. To our weakness others lend their strength, as we lend our strength to their weakness. In our encouragement of others, we call out the beauty that has lain dormant in their lives, pulling them into their destiny. In the joy of relationship, we are given strength to endure through times of difficulty so we are able to be people of longevity.
God is our ultimate source, but if we think ‘God is all I need’, we will only get so far. Eventually we will come to a place – often through a very humbling process – where we are forced to recognise we need people too. To walk out our calling in its fullness, we have to come to this realisation and act upon it.
Be intentional about engaging your heart in community
We need to be intentional about engaging with the people God has placed in our life. We cannot expect community to just ‘happen’ for us. It is our responsibility to step out of isolation and independence. It is up to us to cultivate friendship and invite others to speak into our lives. It is our choice to become vulnerable; to be seen and known.
We’ve all had experiences of being wounded by others, and often isolation in the form of surface level relationships is the route we long to take, to protect ourselves from further pain. But the truth is, family and community, where we are completely real with one another, is the very place where God will heal our wounds and restore our joy.
God saved us into a family. We are the body of Christ. Alone, we cannot be healthy or function well. His plan for our restoration and wholeness looks like hearts laid bare and loved back to life in the safety of community.
As we take courage and engage in authentic relationships, God will connect us with people we need for our journey. Some will pray, some will encourage, some will test your character, some will jump on a plane and come with you. Others will mentor you, offer wisdom, love you fiercely and spur you on towards God. And you will do the same for others.
The unique calling on our lives is so much more than dutifully fulfilling the will of God. He cares more about the internal (what’s going on in our hearts) than the external (what we get done). Relationship is central to everything. Jesus died to reconcile us to himself. We are his sons and daughters. We are a family. And we do life together.
His love is the foundation, the life and breath of all we do.
“If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” – 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verses 1-3.
Bonnie loves all things old-fashioned, exploring new places, coffee with friends and being with her family. She is passionate about broken hearts and relationships being restored through the power of vulnerability and honesty with God and others. Bonnie has a Bachelor of Humanitarian and Community Studies and a Master of International Public Health, and hopes to work in developing countries one day.
Bonnie Dowie’s previous articles may be viewed at
http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/bonnie-dowie.html
Bonnie loves travelling to experience and understand new cultures, beautiful things (especially flowers), coffee with friends and being with her family. She deeply values authenticity and is passionate about building meaningful community where people feel a sense of belonging and genuine love. Bonnie Dowie’s previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/bonnie-dowie.html