Upon hearing this song the first time, I instantly felt the Holy Spirit giving me something, I strongly felt as if God was speaking to Christian women through this song, single women specifically.
The song is 'Next To Me' by EmeliSandé, please listen to it before reading further.
To those women who have a heart for a man, a man in whom their heart will find safety, security and love. God would speak to you directly through the words of this song, in the first verse you will hear...
"You won't find him drinking at the table
Rolling dice or staying out 'til three
You won't ever find him be unfaithful
You will find him, you'll find him next to me
You won't find him tryna chase the devil
For money, fame, for power, out of greed
You won't ever find him where the rest go
You will find him, you'll find him next to me"
The man you are seeking, your man will be found next to Jesus. The first verse is what he is not and what he won't be doing... He will not be found where the rest go, you will find him next to Me (God).
The second verse continues....
"When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
And I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
Cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me"
Speaks to your singleness...
Where so many women put faith in their friends for consolation, affirmation and love (although this is a good and healthy thing) our friends can and do ultimately fail us. If you feel as though there is no help nor love around you through ones you usually find it in, you don't need to panic. Your disappointments are in fact there so you ultimately find the one in whom your trust will never be broken, in Jesus. You'll find your confidence and your source of love in Christ. You will find him next to you, by your side, never to disappoint you, never to leave you, never to forsake you.
It is natural for a woman to seek security in the love and care that a man offers, it a wonderful and beautiful thing, just as it is for a man to find a place of peace in the nurturing love of a woman. But sometimes women get overwhelmed by a need for this and in that restlessness they seek to obtain it outside of their own set standards, or they lower them bit by bit, justifying their choices till they unfortunately sell themselves out of what their heart truly wants.
I know the same applies to men but this is aimed at women so I want to keep it to point. They undersell themselves in their ideal partner, cut corners in their spiritual views by justifying him as 'a good man' with a 'good heart' etc. And that may very well be just the case and that would be rather inconsequential if that was all that they wanted. But I'm speaking to those who have a deeper yearning. And for those that do have a deeper yearning it is sad when internally they are quelling the ideal that their lifelong partner would also be one to love the Lord and seek to follow Him in the same spirit as they do. A union that would seek to grow one another spiritually, spur each other on and put ten thousand to flight.
All I would say to the single Christian women out there is don't sell yourself short. I am not saying there is the 'perfect man' just waiting for you around the corner, most of the time it is US who are holding God back from bringing forth that someone special in our lives. I am a romantic and a true optimist and I believe there may very well be a man God has chosen for you specifically, but will he be perfect? No he won't, but when you do meet someone God may bring you to the point of loving him unconditionally to the point of you seeing him as God sees him, thus perfecting his love in you. It is just as much about us and the condition of our hearts as it is for the other.
There are so many strong single Christian women of God out there, single and looking (just as there are men) and God would say to them all, don't sell out for comfort, don't sell out for company, to sooth the pain of a wound or to maintain the status quo created by friends, family or society (even church society). Jesus wants to be your everything, to the point where you will want no one lest they be the one that God has directed your way and in his timing (however long and unfair that may seem).
What if I'm single for the next year? Two years? Five years? God forbid ten years? Well what if? You have survived this long haven't you? The greater question would be what if I sell myself short of something that my heart has always desired due to impatience and loneliness? Can God redeem our choices? Can he grow and mend us even if we fail? Of course he can, but I think he would rather us follow him and be true to our own hearts.
When we are single it is a time to grow closer to Christ, to have our relationship and faith so unshakable that it would not matter what comes our way, weather that be romance, love, marriage or God forbid the devastation of heartbreak in lost love.
The closer we get to Jesus the easier it will be for us to spot a man that God would put across our path because we will recognize Jesus in that one. There will be no hard search or grasping or striving involved, it will be self evident, it will flow - as all things in-God do.
Remember, God would say to you in regards to a future partner "You will find him next to me" and when you do, those years of loneliness, yearning and the personal growth which those years will bring will make you all the better wife for it, the kind of wife that he himself is waiting for... Because if you didn't know us men have those very same yearnings.
Now, listen to the song again :)
Tim Everton is a youth worker and part time graphic designer from the beautiful southern coast of South Australia. In his off-time he pursues art, photography, the beach and seeking out the next best cafe latte both in equal measure.
Tim Everton's previous articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/tim-everton.html